today i leave behind three decades of lessons well learned. the last of which brought forth the most growth and self-discovery. i’m grateful for my twenties, but i’m even more grateful they’re over. i spent much of those years trying so hard to be cool that i didn’t realize i already was this entire time. do you know how much time i wasted making sure i wore the hippest outfits to the hippest bars on the hippest nights, watching the hippest movies and listening to the hippest bands, drinking the darkest beers and wines to prove my refined palate, finding the most obscure things to like just for the sake of being “interesting?” too much time, if you ask me. screw that nonsense!
those things don’t matter. they won’t bring meaningful people into my life. they won’t inspire me to be a better person. they won’t give me confidence or a sense of self-worth. they won’t allow me to get to know myself. they won’t encourage me to be authentic and genuine. they won’t teach me compassion, forgiveness, or acceptance. they won’t help me practice gratitude, contentment, or sacrifice. they won’t reveal my strengths and weaknesses, or how to deal when life throws me curve balls. they won’t bless me or enrich my spirit. they won’t motivate positivity. they won’t let me relax.
but somewhere amongst those years i managed to wise up, drop the nonsense, and channel my energy into those things that do matter. at 30 i am more fulfilled than ever.
i’ll wear something comfortable to the quiet dive down the street and order some chicken wings and a white wine. and i’ll enjoy all those things alone without a care in the world. because i’m 30, dammit!
because they said i couldn’t, i proved to them i could. after 2 miserable months of anger-driven weight loss, the results are as follows:
initial weigh-in: january 6, 2014 –
mid-competition weigh-in: february 6, 2014 –
final weigh-in: march 6, 2014 –
total loss –
17.6 lbs./13.6% body weight
my rewards….my delicious rewards.
i got a few tips from some wrestler friends on how to cut weight by fluid reduction. holy moly! i had no idea how easy it is to shed water weight in so little time.
iknowiknowiknow. we all hate the gym selfie. or any selfie, for that matter. or even the word “selfie.”
but this is strictly for documentation purposes. honest.
i’ve never had a butt. all my life i’ve been convinced you can’t build something out of nothing. i certainly can’t whip up a prime-choice rack by doing push-ups and chest presses. knowing this, i’ve been fairly content with the shapeless body our good Lord gave me. but here i am documenting the first day of my build-a-booty experiment to see if i can build a butt out of nothing. i would say this is purely experimental, but since i can be embarrassingly honest with you guys, i kind of want my butt to look good in superhero spandex…you know, for cons n shtuff.
and because science is cool, i will approach this using the SCIENTIFIC METHOD.
QUESTION: can you build a butt if you don’t have one to begin with?
RESEARCH: the internet says it’s possible!
HYPOTHESIS: you can build a butt by doing gluteal exercises two to three times a week.
EXPERIMENT: beginning today, i will execute these three exercises (with variations) two to three times a week.
- squats: 3 sets, 8-12 reps with heavy weights
- lunges: 25 lunges per foot with heavy weights
- hip extensions: 3 sets, 20 reps of flutter kicks and/or leg cross-overs
CONCLUSION: i will display my results in three months time.
i survived my first production summer.
one day i wrote about my unemployment anxieties and the very next week i get calls up the wazoo from people looking for a post coordinator.
five days, four interviews –> three offers.
it’s either feast or famine.
i ended up taking a sweet gig on a show premiering on nbc this fall called the blacklist, featuring one of hollywood’s best villains, james spader.
(ahem, tune in every monday night this fall following the voice. series premiere september 23.)
there’s a lot of pressure riding on the success of this show. it’s going to be an intense season. i ain’t gonna lie: i’m pretty friggin’ intimidated. but i love a good challenge.
bring. it. on.
like many self-proclaimed foodies and home cooks, i. love. food.
i love eating it. i love cooking it. and most of all, i love feeding it to people.
ahem. i hate to toot my own horn (toot!), but boy do people love my cooking. especially boys.
a crowd favorite is my lumpia shanghai, the filipino meat-filled eggroll. growing up, my father was the cook of the household, but when it came to making lumpia shangai, both mom and dad tag-teamed those tasty little buggers. dad artistically prepared the meat filling and mom skillfully rolled them up (usually calling on my assistance). and that’s where my training began.
i was inspired by the flavors in my dad’s lumpia, but i never asked him for his recipe. instead, i came up with a recipe of my own that perfectly blends much of the asian ingredients you can find in your own pantry (or in the asian section of your local super market).
lumpia shanghai (yields about 40-45 rolls uncut)
2 lbs. of ground meat (beef, pork, chicken, or combo)
1/4 lb. shrimp (chopped to a chunky paste or food processed)
5 cloves of garlic (minced)
6 green onion (chopped)
2 medium carrots (grated)
1/2 8 oz. can water chestnut (finely chopped)
1/4 cup soy sauce
2 tbsp. rice vinegar
2 tbsp. sugar
1 tbsp. sesame oil
2 tbsp. sesame seeds
2 teaspoons white pepper
2 packages of 8×8″ spring roll sheets (or any size is fine. get a few more packages if you go with the smaller). i use Pamana brand lumpia wrappers or Menlo brand wrappers.
make sure you defrost them for at least an hour before you start.
use a food processor to chop your garlic, green onions, carrots, and water chestnuts. or, if you’re gansta like me, hand chop that ish.
combine all ingredients in a large bowl and mix together. this recipe takes a lot of hand work, so don’t be afraid to get your mitts in there and work all the ingredients together really well.
when you open up the package of wrappers, they will be stuck together. carefully separate each sheet before you get to work. if it’s your first rodeo, you’re guaranteed to tear a few, so it’s a good thing you got two packages.
have a small saucer of warm water or a beaten egg to seal the egg roll.
take 1-2 tablespoons of your meat mixture for each egg roll and start rolling:
when you’re ready to fry, cut each roll into thirds with a pair of kitchen scissors.
deep fry in vegetable oil until golden brown and place on a paper towel lined plate to soak up excess oil.
you will end up with way more lumpia than you can eat in one sitting (or will you?) (yeah, you will). so freeze the rest of the rolls for a later date.
serve with thai sweet chili sauce. i use Mae Ploy brand.
eat the heck outa that lumpia, son! enjoy.
i have a writing prompt consisting of 30 topics to write about each day of one full month. i gave up trying to do it daily, but i use them every now and then. i wrote this last year, but i wanted to share it with some of my new friends and followers.
my father was born in san juan, metro manila, philippines of a chinese immigrant and a filipino native. he’s the 8th of 10 brothers and sisters (the first-born lived with his mother and two cousins are pictured along with the family above). at age 23, he came to the states by way of guam and served in the US army during the vietnam war. i’ve always described his demeanor as “so chinese.” often quiet and stoic, he masks his feelings of meaninglessness behind an underbitten smile. after 20-some-odd years of living under his roof, i realize i don’t know much about my father. every time i asked about his past, he would give me brief, diluted responses. i got a sense he was avoiding it because there were emotions he chose not to revisit or express. so i left it.
we had a tough relationship growing up. i longed for us to have the kind of father/daughter relationship i saw on tv — a father whose heart was softened by his little girl — but we just didn’t understand each other. i wanted him to be uplifting, supportive and compassionate. instead, he was critical, unsupportive and stone-hearted. he wanted me to be an obedient daughter who trusted and respected him. instead he got one who was rebellious and challenging. i always wanted to pick a fight. i thought if i was terrible enough he would somehow realize i was trying to get his attention, and then he’d magically be the kind of father i needed. he was never a violent man, but i once tested him to the point where he raised a hand at me. we were both prideful, but it took several years for the Lord to soften my heart and give me the wisdom and understanding to realize that in order for us to have any kind of civil relationship, i had to swallow my jagged pride and set aside all the anger i was harboring. i understand him more than i ever did before, so we have the most loving relationship we could possibly have now.
my mother grew up in pasay city, metro manila, philippines. as the only daughter of a moderately wealthy family, she was spoiled but restricted. she had a maid, a driver, and a seamstress who made her new clothes every week. everything she wanted was hers, except freedom. her brothers — who are 13 and 16 years older than she — kept a constant watchful eye on her. she always used to tell us how much she longed to join the girl scouts, but all her parents allowed her to do was buy their cookies. after graduating college, she decided to see what the states had to offer and moved in with her eldest brother in east hollywood (where 30 some-odd years later, i would find myself living on the exact same street).
a devoted catholic for most of her life, she became a born-again christian in the 80s and started taking us to a foursquare church. she raised us to be God-fearing children, but as i got older, her fundamentalism and conservative upbringing came head to head with my youthful desires to “rock out.” i went to church every sunday, was consistently involved in the church youth group and friday night bible studies, and yet late nights in hollywood attending phantom planet and yeah yeah yeahs shows (but not necessarily doing anything bad) still labeled me the black sheep of the family. i grew tired of my mother’s constant preaching to “save my soul” when my soul was never lost to begin with. everything she said reflected everything i disliked about southern baptist/conservative filipino beliefs, and i left her church. as some of you may have caught (if you pay any attention to my posts), i left her church, but never left the faith.
living away from my parents was the best thing for our relationship. it gave me a chance to step back and appreciate who they are without the dense fog our differences created. despite my mother’s annoying tendencies, the heart in this woman is incredible. she is the hardest-working, selfless, most loving and generous woman i have ever known. her inability to understand sarcasm and american idioms is one of the most endearing things about her, and when she tries to use them, it’s so hilarious that we all laugh until we’re red in the face.
i covered the zombies on my tiny instruments
i don’t make resolutions every year. i only make them when i’m ready to sit life down and have a serious talk.
- eat better: no chips, all brown grains, dark green veggies, fruit, no mcnuggets — i have this as a reminder on my phone that has been going off every morning at 9am since march 12, 2012 (sans the mcnugget part. that’s new). i stopped paying attention to it months ago, but since i started working on a show equipped with craft services and never-ending snacks, i’ve deafened all voices of reason with the sounds of munching.
- try one new thing every day — from taking one different street on my route to work to going surfing in tahiti, big or small, as long as it’s new to me, i’m going to do commit to breaking from routine and getting out of my comfort zone.
- go to church every week — unfortunately, i’ve let myself slip away again. so this is back on the list.
- explore the outdoors at least once a month — i’m starting with a hike to escondido falls in malibu tomorrow morning. won’t you join me?
- write a blog post at least once a week — i used to be better at articulating my thoughts when i web logged on the daily back when livejournal was hip (and long after it wasn’t). i thought i’d never get tired of writing…until i did…which is sad.
- visit a different continent — this is happening. i’m thinking new zealand ($$$), hong kong ($$) or costa rica ($). UPDATE 1/13/13: the purchase of a new car may prohibit this from happening this year
- stop making excuses — srsly, crystal.
- get over it — come on.
this is what i see when patrick warburton smiles at me.
i work on the show rules of engagement, starring the actor behind my favorite spoof-superhero and cartoon bodyguard to super science family. having worked in entertainment for a few years now, i’ve had my fair share of celebrity sightings in and out of work, and i’ve always been very professional around the actors, respecting their privacy and their desire to be treated like a normal human being. so i’m usually good about keeping my cool, even when i’m a huge fan of a person’s work.
but c’mon. we’re talking brock samson here. i approached him for the first time at craft services. he was warming his sandwich, and i had 30 seconds to make something happen. i calmly and respectfully introduced myself, but not more than a moment passed before i melted into an awkward teen gushing about how big a fan i was of his work on the tick and the venture bros. since then, we’ve spoken a few times in passing…shared smiles…waves…a pair of salad tongs at the dinner line before last night’s shoot…but, you know, who’s counting? i’m trying really hard to keep it together, keep this fangirl closeted, and be one of his co-workers instead of one of his fans. but i just snuck a picture of him at today’s table read. the fangirl is muscling her way out.