Monthly Archives: September, 2012

the long haul

the pencil nebula
the endeavour used to be here.

and now it’s HERE!!
the endeavor in la

i was sent on assignment by my boss to go over one of the endeavour’s flyover points and take pictures (the above are not mine) — completely unrelated to the tv post production world, but totally related to MY world. she didn’t even know i was a space fan, but she told me to take the day and bring back some pictures. what a perfect excuse for a day off!

it was foolish of me to have underestimated the crowd that was drawn by the endeavour’s last flight, and at the griffith observatory of all places! two hours to drive 12 miles should have given me ample time to get to the observatory — even considering morning traffic. but the streets below were littered with cars, practically unmoving, along with a line of cars signaling to get into an already gridlocked right lane. when i turned into one of the streets leading up, i found it closed to observers. the hill had filled up. so i parked in a residential street and started hiking two miles in high 80 degree weather with a camera bag filled with lenses and tripod in tow.

but what a sight. the energy at the top of that hill was electrifying. there it was flying before me– a space ship…that’s been in space…during my lifetime…and now lives in my city.


this one’s mine.

Day 09 – Your beliefs, in great detail

the other day, a foreign friend asked me to share my testimony via youtube for his christian online magazine, onfire. i was all of delighted, humbled and nervous about fulfilling his request. unable to relate to contemporary christians, i have — for so long — felt disconnected from the christian community. the youth group i once belonged to had disbanded many years ago as our small church drama caused our families to scatter to new churches, and i have since been unable to find a group of christian friends i can emotionally connect to. consequently, seeking a new church on my own while being inherently shy hasn’t helped much. so without any accountability, i’ve lived my life teetering in between a Christ-centered and self-centered life.

i am human, flawed in every way imaginable, but in Christ i have a reason to strive for perfection — to be more like Him. i believe in the one true God, His Son Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost whom He left to dwell within us. i believe in christian apologetics, defending the faith through logical reasoning. not everyone will understand christianese or respond to aggressive “fire and brimstone” evangelism, but everyone understands logic, and logic can open the door to a real relationship with Christ.

a few years ago, i had slowly drifted from an every-sunday-church-goer to an every-once-in-a-while-church-goer. i was living on my own, and without the daily pressures of my overbearing, baptist mother, i became lax with my spiritual life. with an insufferable night work schedule at a low-paying job, i lacked a social life and became lonely and depressed in my tiny los angeles apartment. in 2009 i made a few new years resolutions. out of all the wishy-washy resolutions i had ever made in my 20-some-odd years of living, i was committed to taking these seriously.

  1. go to church every sunday
  2. tithe
  3. run

and i did. and when i did, inexplicable things started happening in my life. every single sermon spoke to me, not because i was searching to be spoken to but because the Lord knew i would finally listen. with as little money as i made, i committed to giving the small sum He asks for, and suddenly opportunity for overtime and a raise came flooding my way. i ran, literally, 5 times a week, but as i started to notice the evidence of God’s grace in my life, i realized where i was running to. the more i continued to live for Him, the more my eyes were opened to the blessings that had always been there. i wanted to change my life, run to Christ and never stop. this world, however, is filled with distraction. the christian life is not without struggle; we draw near and fall away until God breaks us again. i am human, flawed in every way imaginable. but despite my shortcomings, God continues to make Himself shown regardless of how well i pay attention.

change of heart

“your hair looks longer,” he said as he sat down on my chair.

“you feel taller,” i said as i hugged him goodbye.

funny how much things change (even if they really didn’t) after not having seen someone for a month.

an ocean of fears

california summers are nearly endless, but on the hottest days, most people like to go to the beach. i, however, don’t head down there nearly as much as many of my fellow californians do. don’t get me wrong; i have no problem with the beach. (i used to when i was an insecure teenager who didn’t know how to put on sun screen) in fact, i love it. well…most of it…which brings me to this:

i’m terrified of the ocean for the following reasons —

1) it is filled with creatures unknown. we know as much about our oceans as we do about outer space. in its deepest depths live alien-like creatures that seem to have come to life from the pages of science fiction rather than from our own planet. when you’re in the water, you don’t truly know what’s swimming with you and what’s contaminating the water you allow yourself to be consumed in. i suppose it’s not the creatures, themselves, but the mystery beneath that i fear the most.

2) naturally, we are not made to be in the water. our skin prunes; we can’t breathe or see without man-made contraptions; our bodies are not properly equipped to handle the pressures of the deep…

alright, so we’re not made to be in the air either, but that’s why there are also people who fear flying.

but what happens when you’re stranded out there without the equipment that allows you to survive? you’re in the ocean’s turf, baby. it’ll do with you what it wants.

at a loss for words

it’s been a year since my last active post. but now that i have more time on my hands, look out wordpress! things are going to change around here. this past year or so i’ve let writing teeter in and out of my life and fall nearly into oblivion. and since i’ve stopped actively writing, i found that i’m more at a loss for words than ever. i haven’t been able to articulate my thoughts properly, which has caused me to stutter and stumble on my words, which have made me insecure about the way i speak, which has made me more quiet…

writing was like a cork that kept everything in my brain. and when i let it crumble away, everything started to leak out.